Self Care for Single Moms: Cuddles

So we want cuddles. We crave touch that doesn't take; adult cuddles which fill our cup. Yes, we love cuddling our children- of course! They are the most gorgeous and sweetest of all things. And we also want and need touch and cuddles that hold and support us, for us, too.

As a solo Mama, this is tricky at the best of times. We may not have someone we are dating that can hold us. We might not know a man who we feel safe asking to come round for sofa cuddles and holding.
So what then…?

Women friends.. Single mum friends! Ask a friend round and switch up being the big spoon, so that you each feel held. Offer each other massages and tingly head and foot rubs. This can go such a long way! And it is so deliciously transformative to allow ourselves to be seen and held in this way.

Is it sexual? Well we could talk about this for hours.. maybe, no, yes… who the fuck cares? Talk about your boundaries well and be in consent for each act of touching or cuddling and try really hard to be in your body as much as you can (honouring each feeling) so you can truly soak up the shared love and supportive energy.

This is the gift of friendship in action! 

If the idea of asking your friends to touch or cuddle you fills you with dread, I hear you. Being raised by a mother who was emotionally disconnected, unaffectionate due to her own wounding, held me back from truly connecting with women friends for a long time. It has been a pokey and wonderful journey to feel comfortable and in touch with a community of women friends.

A way to start, if this is you too, maybe to start your own group, or to look for one to join. Conscious touch sessions or ecstatic & 5 rhythms dance has a gentle connection component where you may meet like hearts.

And failing that… massage yourself, pay for a massage and in your imagination/vision portal, picture your inner child… really hold the image and cuddle her as tenderly and as fiercely as you would your own children… filling her with love and strength and telling her all the kinds of wonderful she is.

You are LOVE!
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Yemaya Xxx